Just when I thought that a broken heart would kill me, my blood sugar and liver levels almost did. Who knew that a sugar and carb-heavy diet along with short alcoholic stints throughout your twenties could do such a thing? Modern science. I did not want to go to the doctor for this very reason —i.e. empirical evidence that your body is in a state of protest, but I cannot die without seeing Tennis live, or going to WWC next summer. Plus, I want to see Kylie live at least one more time. Priorities, man. Anyway, I changed my diet, started drinking more water, and started going to the gym. This is going to be the blandest Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve ever. Diabetes and liver aside, my body and my mind are returning to normalcy. In conjunction with taking advantage of Medicare, I think the haircut set off a chain of events. I do not know why I tried so hard to comply with the respectability politics of square presentation. Actually, I do know why: because I was defining myself by my significant other. However, I am woman, I am non-white, and I am heavily-tattooed. Regardless of "radical hairstyles," I will always be a magnet for judgement. Life is too short not to own my douchebag queerness in its entirety.
I finally got my period after not having it for 5 months. Everyone thought I was pregnant.
One of the required texts in my research methods class is Light in the Dark/Luz en lo Oscuro: Rewriting Identity, Spirituality, Reality by the late Gloria Anzaldúa. Parts of it are in Spanish and it does take me longer to read since I have to refer to Google Translate often, but it is incredibly inspiring and therapeutic. I actually do not mind taking the extra time to understand the Spanish. Junot Díaz has a quote about wypipo willing to read books in made up languages like Elvish, but freak out when they see Spanish. But this is America! America that was once Mexico? I digress. At times, I chastise myself for relating too much to the mystical aspects of the text and I become embarrassed. But thems the "intellectual imperialism" breaks, right? Decolonization is exhausting.
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