My personal (de)evolution of caring has ranged from caring way too much, to caring as a means of understanding, to not caring at all, to now caring in the spirit of academia. I was sensitive to what others thought about me to the point of going out of my way to put others on blast and consequently, showed my own whole ass. I took up the mantle of "The Personal Is Political" and fought with anyone who was a heteropatriarchal and classist holy roller. Then I attempted to shift my reactionary outbursts into understanding why people do the terrible things that they do, and why their actions do not align with what they say they embody: Christ's love. It was exhausting and when I hit my thirties, I stopped wanting to understand because excusing garbage behavior with daddy issues, personal insecurities, or willful ignorance under the guise of religious supremacy is total bullshit. I am not here for self-identified grown folks who have toddler tantrums and navigate their lives as mean girls. Maybe y'all need to work out your sociopathy with the assistance of a shrink and perhaps integrate the concept of the apology into your lexicon and personal philosophy. I digress, I am not a psych major.
Where does that leave me currently? Having to care enough about a topic to spend almost a year researching it and then presenting my results in order to complete my degree. Do I side with a topic that I researched last semester that resonates with who I am, but I am kind of burnt out on? Or do I jump into a topic that I am unfamiliar with, but excited about — especially with an ethnographic goldmine rolling into town in the spring?
So what?! Who cares?!
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