Vegans are OVER!

In preparation for an upcoming wedding and in the spirit of self-loathing, I've made a drastic change in my diet. It's mostly because L read a book and turned into a vegan. So, I became a part-time vegan by association. At my most disciplined dietary moments, my "cheats" consist of:

- Iced Thai teas from Archi's
- Trenta sized passion ice teas with 11 pumps of classic from Starbuck's
- Seafood pan-fried noodles at Pho Kim Long (which is maybe once every two weeks)

Apart from omitting animal byproducts, L and I have also given up processed sugar and flour. So instead of double cheeseburgers and chicken wings, our meals look mostly like this:


Flax seed waffles with berries, soy butter, agave nectar syrup and almond milk.


Whole wheat toast with almond butter, strawberries, sliced almonds and a drizzle of agave syrup.

Mixed fruits with turbinado raw sugar. Whole wheat naan with Smart Tenders chicken tenders, vegan ranch dressing and hummus. Tofurkey frozen pizzas. Spinach salad with mushrooms, sliced almonds, extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar
.

Taco salad with fake taco meat, shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes, shredded soy cheese, vegan sour cream, home made guacamole, cilantro and etc.


Faux chicken wrapped in roti chapatti with spinach, tomatoes and vegan ranch.


Boca burgers with romaine lettuce buns, rice cheese, Vegenaise & organic ketchup mixture, and oven baked fries tossed in olive oil and dry herbs.


Aforementioned Tofurkey pizzas. I added sliced mushrooms and shallots to the plain cheese pizza.
Vanilla Soy Delicious ice cream with vegan Newman-O's (or sometimes Whole Foods vegan chocolate chip cookies).
Sometimes I like to splurge on the vegan chocolates at Whole Foods. These in particular have gotten too rich for my blood (let's be real, they always have been), but they do have a dark cacao bar with rice crisps for around $3. I like to open it up like a Wonka Bar because I'm a child.

My absolute favorite quinoa spaghetti tossed in an olive oil and soy butter sauce with sauteed garlic, shallots (I LOVE SHALLOTS), mushrooms and a sprinkle of dried herbs. My old favorite had regular angel hair pasta and globs of buffalo moz.

I won't lie to you, it's expensive eating healthy and depending on where you live, restaurants with vegan menus are hard to find. If neither one of us has the energy to cook, we have a few options:
Tofu panang curry at Archi's Thai Cafe is the SHIZZ!!! There are three locations in Las Vegas, but we usually stick to the Fort Apache location. The servers are familiar with us and don't even bother to give us menus because we order the same thing every time. Typical pisceans.

 Chipotle has a vegan friendly menu (and a sometimes reliable iPhone app). Plus, I saw them feed a bum at the West Sahara location. But I won't get into the boost of bummetry on the West Side. Another option is vegan pho at Pho Kim Long, but I always end up getting the pan-fried seafood noodles because I can't quit it. They have delicious deep fried tofu, but I think the dip might have eel in it.

Once in a while, we'll have a vegan taco salad at the Red Velvet Cafe. We prefer the Fashion Show Mall location because the service is better than at the West Sahara location. Something weird always happens there, whether it be a waitress who goes on break without giving us the check, or the joint being FILLED with Summerlin douchebags. Their red velvet cake is really good, but I can't tell you if it's completely vegan or not. WORST BLOGGER EVER!

I know there are more vegan eateries in the valley. The restaurants at the Wynn have vegan options because Steve Wynn is a vegan, but I work in retail, so it's going to be a minute before I get my chips in order.

Confession time: I fell off the wagon a little and have been eating caprese salads two weekends in a row. And as delicious as it was, the time spent on the toilet was not worth it. Sure, I got to catch up on my Tiny Tower, but no one enjoys constipation. In the three or so months of changing my eating habits, I have noticed a boost in energy, good skin and a drop in two pant sizes. I think I may have hit my peak in weight loss by diet alone, so I have to start working out to attain my ultimate goal of a size 6 (but my parents will still call me fat). L and I were doing brisk walks around the neighborhood in the evening, but I got the flu and then threw out my back at work. Pros of better eating also include softer stool and non-lingering flatulence. I still crave things like steak and beer, but my double chin and my belly are smaller than what they were three or so months ago and I'm pretty happy with that. Lil L is to thank. She is constantly saving my life; from alcoholism, slore-ism, hypertension, laparoscopic cholecystectomy, what else? Oh yeah, I went back to school! Added bonus?


KITTENS.