Thursday, June 2, 2016

So what? Who cares?

Last semester, I took a course called "Vulnerable Black Masculinities." It was an awesome class taught by one of my favorite professors. Should a degree in being woke existed, VBM would be a required course. When I learn about Black history in the United States, I become inspired to interrogate the historicity of Filipinos in America and worldwide. How the F else does a Filipino-American deal with the Filipino diaspora? Anyway, I had to submit an article to a blog for one of my assignments. The website I submitted my article to is probably never going to publish it because the moment has passed and honestly, who cares about what an undergrad has to say about anything? So here it is:


Pacquiao is WACKiao: The Filiqueerno Navigation of Gay and Pinoy Pride.
by Nicole Espinosa


In preparation for the third Pacquiao vs Bradley match, I will not be making the pilgrimage to Las Vegas, as many Filipinos do, to monetarily and morally support arguably the most visible Filipino in transnational popular culture. This is partly because I already live in Las Vegas and I purposefully avoid The Strip — especially during fight nights. Additionally, I will not order the fight on pay-per-view and will not assemble with relatives or with other Filipinos in someone’s garage-turned-rec room to watch it.

My resignation from Team Pacquiao happened at least four years ago. As a queer Filipino-American, I cannot cheer for someone who has described the entire LGBTQIA community as being “worse than animals.” Let’s revisit the interview that first threatened Pacquiao’s earning capability in 2012: former Examiner.com contributor Granville Ampong fabricated a quote by Pacquiao citing Leviticus 20:13 in response to President Obama’s endorsement of same-sex marriage. Ampong’s non-journalism aside, I was not the least bit surprised by Pacquiao’s alleged homophobia. Pacquiao has always presented himself as a God-fearing man. Having parents who were raised as devout Catholics, who then raised me as devout Mormons, I am more than familiar with the correlation between the Christian majority and anti-gay, anti-equality sentiment. Yet here we are four years later: the same passage from Leviticus posted to, and subsequently deleted from, Pacquiao’s official Instagram account. Pacquiao’s Nike endorsement had just been terminated and he apparently gave zero Fs about it.


“But he said ‘sorry.’” But I don’t care. Pacquiao’s half-apology doesn’t reflect the Christ-like attributes he so vehemently pretends to embody. “But he donates to charities.” But what’s the point of a hand out if you’re not helping people become self-sufficient and critically thinking members of society? I digress.

To throw in my own remix of Beyoncé’s “Formation:” I like my Pinoy nose with Lapu-Lapu nostrils. I love being Filipino and I cannot allow my Pinoy Pride to be defined by the scientifically inaccurate and religiously hypocritical comments made by an individual who embraces anti-intellectualism, has subjected himself to decades of head trauma, and has shown his inability to maintain the “sanctity” of marriage. I would implore other Filipinos who don’t agree with Pac-Man’s politics, but continue to rally for him as an athlete, to reconsider their decision to do so. He’s no José Rizal, but he also can’t be the only Filipino worth rooting for.

I wrote a (crappy) paper — we'll get to how crazy busy my semester was at another time, on the regression of the Filipino Race Man. I am fully aware of the absurdity of a) a race representative and b) a gendered race representative, but for the purpose of submitting an assignment worth a good chunk of my grade, I wrote about it. It boggles my mind that the Philippines just elected a bozo for a president. But when I think about the history of the Philippines — Spanish colonial rule, American colonial rule, World War II, plunder and oppression of the Marcos regime, it comes as no surprise that the #2 Philippine National Hero after José Rizal would be a stupid boxer. He literally has zero grasp on science or sociology. Again, I have to reiterate that Filipinos aren't the only perpetrators of anti-intellectualism: the GOP Presidential front runner is a misogynist, white supremacist and reality television "star."


There are Filipinos in the media and academia worth rooting for. People besides Rob Schneider, Jo Koy and Nicole Scherzinger. Coincidence that they're all mixed? I can't have a conversation about colorism just yet. I have pizza to eat. Later, hoes. Xoxo Gossip Girl.

Friday, January 8, 2016

2015? I hardly knew her!

Zero blog posts all year long! However, I probably wrote a gazillion pages worth of papers over the duration of the spring and fall semesters.






















The following is a bullet point list of highlights, as well as a few lowlights, from 2015:

  • I got straight A's in the Spring and almost all A's in the Fall (thanks, Nutrition).
  • I made my first zine for my CFA symposia.
  • I broke up with Tegan & Sara because they're fake feminists and sellouts.
  • A new kitty wandered into the house and RJ named her Pistachio.
  • We went to the Grand Canyon.
  • Lena got me donuts and stuff from the Hello Kitty Cafe.
  • Renee rescued a bunny from her worksite and we named him Barnaby.
  • Alastair went missing for a week.
  • I got a couple of new cameras and spent most of my fall semester in the dark room.
  • We had our five year anniversary.
  • I took some core art classes and decidedly changed majors, HAHAHA! I love learning about art and how to strengthen artistic skills, but other art majors are not my people.
  • My parents and I drove up to California twice: first to visit Auntie Precy because she was in the hospital for Leukemia treatment. Sadly, the second trip was for her funeral.
  • 2015 was indeed the year of death. At least three of my friends had parents pass away, one of my coworkers passed away, one of my friends passed away.
  • That's how we adopted Abigail. She was one of Jenn's six dogs that needed homes.
  • Christmas and New Year's Eve was nice and low-key. I got some film, photography books, cash and coconut coffee. We made pizzas and had champagne. Carbs and booze, the best way to usher in a new year.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Obligatory End of My First Semester at Uni Post

My mom posted an embarrassing photo of my CAAP exam certificate on Facebook:

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She should have posted a photo of my GPA instead: 3.87, y'all - which is actually four As and one B+ (with special thanks to my #1 study buddy slash #1 girlfriend), but I suppose that the certificate is easier to brag about as opposed to telling people that her daughter is a Fine Arts major and Gender and Sexuality Studies minor AKA academic lesbian. I really enjoyed my first semester as a university student. It was hard, but the end result was worth it. I feel a smidge smarter and a smidge more disgusted with patriarchy and dominant race discourse.

Since I was unable to take art classes this fall, I overcompensated by taking too many photos around campus with a plethora of different cameras:

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Various spots at UNLV
Taken with a Fujifilm Instax90 Neo Classic


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"Tuscany"
Taken with a Polaroid 101 Land Camera


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West side of WRI
Taken with a Polaroid 600 OneStep


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Pida Plaza
Taken with a Polaroid 600 OneStep


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One of the many golf carts on campus
Taken with a Polaroid SX-70 Sonar

In other news, I finally got a few rolls of film developed from the summer. The following are shots from a heavy Mamiya Tower 18A that I thrifted for $11.

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I am quite pleased with outcome...after I finally figured out how to use the light meter, of course. Trial and error, such is my life.

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My Uncle Charles gifted me with his near mint Canon AE-1 and accessories. Even though Art104 (B&W Photography) filled up before I could even sign up for it (thanks, upperclassmen), this SLR is indeed a lifesaver because the alternate AE-1 in my possession is in shambles.

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Most of the roll is from what looks like a house hunting expedition shot previously by my uncle. I do not know how it happened, but I managed to take a multiple exposure:

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Highlights of Fall 2014 include:

+ Turning Katy Perry's racial ignorance into an eight page paper.
+ A lecture on the origins of the Italian porn industry given by Italian field scholars.
+ Using expensive telescopes to observe a massive waning gibbous moon.
+ A guest lecture by Lauren McCubbin. When asked what comics she currently reads, she mentioned at least three titles that I also read.
+ Working less retail.
+ Access to free highlighters and study rooms for law students.
+ Being mistaken for a law student.
+ Pop culture courses.

Spring does not start for another twenty something days and while it is refreshing to not be holed up in the library for hours on end, constantly read thick academic journals or write 4+ page essays weekly, I am excited to complete my first year of college and maintain my fantastic GPA. It's not easy, but I love it. I never thought that I would enjoy academia or even aspire to go to graduate school. Maybe I will end up double majoring since I have turned into a late-in-life overachiever. Who knows? So what? Who cares? My mom.